day 2. letter to crush.

crushes. boys i have liked that havent like me back. :(

but i will survive! lol.

haha russell gramberry,

for a good laugh ima start with you.

when i like you, you still had hair but was confused on what to do with it

your funny and have the cutest smille.

i like you..but that was it a LIKE nothing serious.

i still love you [as a friend] to this day. &am okay to keep it

that way.

john wallace,

ima back track&go to you.

i had a crush on you since 4th grade in mscole class.

all the way to middle school.

even during my boyfriendship with robert wade.

you have the prettiest smile&eyes. that made me melt. teehee.

i almost cried when you got married to another girl under the jungle gym.

that's prolly why i pushed her off the swing.

okay, back to high school&

daniel james garrett,

boy i have liked you for too long.

make myself tired thinking of it.

you like white chicks.

we all have figured this out.

but why do you have to be sooo cute? &dress so well?

so many times i gave up, and decided to juhst be okay with being friends

but you would do something to confuse me.

guess it was juhst plain flirting without any intent;

i remember in mshandy's creative writing class

 we always sat together in class&in the computer lab

mshandy even askd if we had something, but outside i said NO. inside saying I WISH!

lol. looking back, man i wanted you bad.

hhaha. goodtimes.

sarah w. would always joke to me, about "yo man" haha

man..daniel james garrett. i could go on and on. revealing the inner secrets of

my heart, but my hands cannot even type it all. followers cannot even read it all.

my heart cannot even pour it all.

to end it all. i have decided that being your friend that you can come to

is better than not having you in my life at all. so glad i met you.

ilyboy. :)

justin claybrooks,
yeah. you boy.
i had a crush on your swag&personality.
but your such a womanizer. i need it would be nothing but a crush.
&the fact. you cant stand me.
but still had a crush on your pretty eyes. &how you could make a laugh
all the time from the crazy things you did.
i am really gonna miss sitting by you in the cafeteria in the morning
laughing with everyone from how crazy you are.
you cute.. all that. haha.
yuur head finna get so big.
but you need learn how to treat a lady.

side note: problem with cute boys they think they dnt have to be as
polite as ugly ones to get chicks.
they really dont but still try to be.

okay back to you. love you boy.

ATTN ALL OTHER BOYS:

if you name was not listed about i really did not like you that much. juhst thought you were cute.

or you had someother problem. or on a better note.

something actually hppnd between us. :)

thats not bad though. haha. try harder.

day 1. letter to yuur bestie.

im starting these letters. [inspired by netta, sandi, &&shelby]

bestfriend,

wish i knw who you were or better yet wish we found each other. someone to share secrets with, have insiders, and wear bff necklaces from Claire's with. i never really had a bestfriend. the closest i got was in kindergarten, Natasha. i loved kindergarten because no one discriminated; we were all the same. even the same color. Natasha was white, but i rele ddnt knw and/or care. elementary school you were no where to be found. then in middle school i had a little clique with Lakeia and Mariah. [funny like im saying names as if you knw.] but they were already bestfriends although i knew them since elementary. then that group grew to adding Tyresha and Latisha; who were also already attached. sooo....it was like i was stuck btwn to groups of bff's. umm. middle school you were no where to be found. in high school, looking for friends, acceptance, all that jazz. i became friends with a posse' [lmao] DO6 &hated for it. but like always they were already best of friends. &;even when one was made at one they still had 3 more girls to talk to about it. so i can say; high school you were really no where to be found.  but i did find some wonderful friends [you knw who you are] that i could ask for. they are the closest i have been to besties and i will always cherish our friendship . ilyall. :)

but luckily in college in the process of learning even more about myself. .. i will find you. &you will be a handsome young man with a great career in the future [marriage material] heyy. he's gotta be my bestfriend too. :)

if i were a b o y.

my dating psycology is starting to e v o l v e.
i have decided that for now; ima try to think like a boy when it comes to dating&love.
ima talk to a variety of different types of dudes. &this might help me refine my taste. :)
currently i talk to like 4 or 5 boys.
i am not a permiscuous [spelld wrong] girl
but boys like the chase and dont deserve to be chased. i have figured out.

one boy "cuteface"; met at LAX
is cute&this has brainwashd him to thinkng all girls will approach and chase him
wrong!
he has came after me more and harder knowing that i do not seem interestedd
might juhst want sex

two boy "oldhead"; met at kenyas&on fbook kinda
he is experienced and I rele dnt understand y he is even interested
but ima jusht go with the flow...came to see me at work today too. [no boy has done that]

three boy "flipflirt"; we have talkd before
i been attracted to him
he's soo cute. juhst came to see me today. :)

four boy "stephon"
loved me
hated me
loved me
wants physical

five boy "younger"
ummmm
thats all. he's younger.  stupider. slower. confuser.

ohh yea&&tony kinda in the picture in the corner. lol

boys. boys. boys.
im not a [p l a y e r] i jusht [c r u s h] alot

:) <333333

suntime. :D

even though i already have established a bucketlist [on the leftside of this blogpage] i wanted to make a list of goals and ideas to do for the last summer before college.

• ride a ferris wheel wiith a cutie
• save $2000 from checks, grad money, etc [i have never really saved money, but i have started]
• find a summer romance "oolala"
• go white water rafting
• host a dinner party for me&&my girls [like on bball wives]
• MITP, every week.; but dnt get shot :(
• ATL tripp
• New Orleans tripp
• beach trip [Datyona, Myrtle, Virginia, etc.]
• zoo!!
• aquarium.
• have a girls night! [at my new cribb]
• make a music video for youtube.
• volunteer at an animal shelter
• super scrapbook of everything [including this summer] to warm my heart when im away at college
• a lookbook. of all my styles
• go to a drive in movie

if you have any ideas for me. comment!

l o v e [question#1]

lately i have been thinking a lot about love, because i rele have not figured it out yet. this question really has parts but centered around true love. :)
okay..

do you believe in true love; that everyone has another person already set&&destined to fall in love with? 

&&if that is ture.

what if while you are dating someone hoping they were the one; they were really the true love of someone else [like your bestfriend]

would you?

(a)i dont believe in true love

(b)forget about you being with the guy to hook them up

(c)cry like a bby [but dont let him see you]

(d)fight that chick

(e)try to make him love you [even if your not the one meant for him

(f)c-e :)

&&if true love is true

can it be used as the justification of cheating

could a girl or a boy that cheated on you possibly have found the person of their dreams by accident.

so many questions. help me out.

you're like the best part of my daily routine pt.2

he txtd meh backkk.
said he ddnt knw if he wanted to be with.
"i like you but idk"
what does that mean!
geez. boys.

you're like the best part of my daily routine

i

like

dig

feel

love to be around

went to two proms with

slept with [jusht sleep] three times &&loved it

kissed&still think about

dream about

look at name in my contacts

go on facebook page

was taken care of when under the influence by

TONY!!!

oh emm geez. it has been three weeks without talking to him like we usually do&&i not be dramatic but...IM DYING! >< i juhst got home from a friends house, and [okay im gonna sidetrack for a minute] her brother&&i dated! yea. so he's there flirting with me&&stuffs and the feelings are still there kinda but i keep dinking about tony! so i know i rele like him! so...i get in the car with my mama&mo[stepdadish] telln them how much i miss tony n how we havnt talkd n ever. guesz what happens then; go head guess. HE TEXTS MEH!! yes. im upstair blowdrying my hair since it got sockd in an unexpected water baloon fight with these chitlens. igh. lol. but yeah he textd and i screamd. convo goes like:

Tony: Hey boo
Meh: Hey!!! Omg! I juhst like poutted to my mama n mo about not talking to you!
Tony: Ya rite...
Meh: No. Im like serious... you're like the best part of my daily routine.
[kinda made it look like AIM, teehee]

Sooo.. then he stops texting. was that too much. too strong. i rele like him, but maybe im doing too much. we rele arent like together&&the last convo we had was about "what are we"...i need help. i am a wholehearted mess, when it comes to my whole heart.

:) living&laughn&tryna do some lovn