seeing yuuh.

i really hate the fact that when i see the boy

i once had crazy feelings for; but i think there done with

then i see him again

&&i juhst cant stop thinking about him

im so ready to leave nashville

to really get over you.

make sure you come get your goddamn dogtags before i go.

ughh.

day 7. letter to ex-boytoy

tony,

yea im sending this letter to you.. so you can see how "out-of-pocket"-Kara[XULA] you moms is.
these are our message on facebook.

you wall.

meh: aye, you knw i still have that dogtag tell me if you want...jusht in my jewelry box. :)
you: yeah I do..
meh: k. i can put it in cory mailbox
you: ok ...
your mama: you better get that from her
meh: he will
your mama: thanks but i was talking to my son
meh: k. but i saw it first so i commented first

my messages.
your mama: I don't know why the attitude with me. All I said to TONY was you better get that from her. So, why do you feel the need to come at me with the smart aleck comments? I have nothing against you so I really don't know why you feel the need to act that way. Best of luck to you in whatever you do. Tony got into school...something you never thought he would do since you said he would never amount to anything. He will amount to something. He is already much more than some.
meh:okay.. ms. tammy


you need to calm down just for a second. tony told me he told you when i said that ,but you probably dont knw that i apologized a million gazilion times for it. i never meant it i guess it was juhst such a stressfull day aka my prom! you knw. but i knw that still doesnt excuse that. but i always knew he would/will do great things in his life. [rele wouldnt have liked him if i thought other wise]

&&& about the attitude on the wall post. juhst seemed like you were acting like i wanted to keep it or something. haha. i remember when he gave it to me i was juhst playing about wantinng it... well side tracking . he will get it back. i moved so i will have to put it in cory's mailbox or tell him where my new place is. but its in a safe place.. in my jewelry box. no worries. &&no hard feeling.

you have a great son . . sorry for making you think i thought otherwiise. :D

god bless you&&your family.
 
 
 
haha, hilarious.
wish you alls the best boy.

if i were a b o y.

my dating psycology is starting to e v o l v e.
i have decided that for now; ima try to think like a boy when it comes to dating&love.
ima talk to a variety of different types of dudes. &this might help me refine my taste. :)
currently i talk to like 4 or 5 boys.
i am not a permiscuous [spelld wrong] girl
but boys like the chase and dont deserve to be chased. i have figured out.

one boy "cuteface"; met at LAX
is cute&this has brainwashd him to thinkng all girls will approach and chase him
wrong!
he has came after me more and harder knowing that i do not seem interestedd
might juhst want sex

two boy "oldhead"; met at kenyas&on fbook kinda
he is experienced and I rele dnt understand y he is even interested
but ima jusht go with the flow...came to see me at work today too. [no boy has done that]

three boy "flipflirt"; we have talkd before
i been attracted to him
he's soo cute. juhst came to see me today. :)

four boy "stephon"
loved me
hated me
loved me
wants physical

five boy "younger"
ummmm
thats all. he's younger.  stupider. slower. confuser.

ohh yea&&tony kinda in the picture in the corner. lol

boys. boys. boys.
im not a [p l a y e r] i jusht [c r u s h] alot

:) <333333

where have i been?

it feels like i havent blogg in so long; well it has been 20 days almost; crazy

i knew that may would be a busy month for me and my family but never would i have imagined this..

everyday we are a my brother's track meet or my youngest brother's school event or wedding or graduation stuffs. mann this has really been a trial to see how much we are capable of doing. my mother is really stressed lately "bridezilla" :) &&really not fun to be around sometimes. my only goal was to really finish these examm &&get out of HfA haha. graduation uhhh. bittersweet. im happy to have accomplished 13 years of metro schools and to go to college but i am so sad to live my friends that I really juhst got close to this school year. i know i will cry at graduation. netta told me she will too. :( i hope we do lots of things together over the summer. im having boy trouble too. tony is out! he said he heard stuff about me &&i dont have time to make him believe me when i say who i really am. that's crazy. also trouble at home with the many things to do my mother seems to take everything out on me. &&friend trouble i guess. i never had a best friend before. or someone to really talk to about my life and everything; sometimes it really hard for me to know that. &&another crazy thing

as much as i hate CEC it has been a place i can forget about everything outside of work.

well that was juhstt a what's on your mind... burgg. facebook wouldnt have understood. lol. :)

you're like the best part of my daily routine pt.2

he txtd meh backkk.
said he ddnt knw if he wanted to be with.
"i like you but idk"
what does that mean!
geez. boys.

you're like the best part of my daily routine

i

like

dig

feel

love to be around

went to two proms with

slept with [jusht sleep] three times &&loved it

kissed&still think about

dream about

look at name in my contacts

go on facebook page

was taken care of when under the influence by

TONY!!!

oh emm geez. it has been three weeks without talking to him like we usually do&&i not be dramatic but...IM DYING! >< i juhst got home from a friends house, and [okay im gonna sidetrack for a minute] her brother&&i dated! yea. so he's there flirting with me&&stuffs and the feelings are still there kinda but i keep dinking about tony! so i know i rele like him! so...i get in the car with my mama&mo[stepdadish] telln them how much i miss tony n how we havnt talkd n ever. guesz what happens then; go head guess. HE TEXTS MEH!! yes. im upstair blowdrying my hair since it got sockd in an unexpected water baloon fight with these chitlens. igh. lol. but yeah he textd and i screamd. convo goes like:

Tony: Hey boo
Meh: Hey!!! Omg! I juhst like poutted to my mama n mo about not talking to you!
Tony: Ya rite...
Meh: No. Im like serious... you're like the best part of my daily routine.
[kinda made it look like AIM, teehee]

Sooo.. then he stops texting. was that too much. too strong. i rele like him, but maybe im doing too much. we rele arent like together&&the last convo we had was about "what are we"...i need help. i am a wholehearted mess, when it comes to my whole heart.

:) living&laughn&tryna do some lovn