day 10. wish we talked

umm.. im juhst gonna list some ppl on campus that are rele cool &&i wish we talked more.

Melody Smoot. this is the sweetest girl ..she's rele cool we talk a bit on fbok and in person, but i wish we hanged out more. seems like she would be a good friend.
okay, i dont knw his name but: this art student here is soooo fine. &&i wish we talked talked lol. .man i get so happy when we cross paths and he lets me look in his profolio .lol
remy: i always talk to you, but need to talk to you now about my problems!!! only one that will listen &not judge me.

i love talking to people so i wish i spoke to everyone on campus &we were mutual friends. :D
scratch that most ppl.

day 9. person i wana meet

future boyfriend,

i would love to meet you. have someone to go on adventures, hang out, tell secrets to, and juhst have to talk to in the middle of the night. sleep on the phone with. walk with. juhst enjoy to be in the presence of. someone cute of course. that would never get tired of hearing my "country" accent. enjoy doing the things i like and also expose me to things he is interested in. not playing with my heart, and being as serious with me as i am with him. someone to learn from and with. ...i am so ready to meet you. but i am not rushing you. i knw you will come introduce yourself when the time is right.

<33333 . b.

day 2. letter to crush.

crushes. boys i have liked that havent like me back. :(

but i will survive! lol.

haha russell gramberry,

for a good laugh ima start with you.

when i like you, you still had hair but was confused on what to do with it

your funny and have the cutest smille.

i like you..but that was it a LIKE nothing serious.

i still love you [as a friend] to this day. &am okay to keep it

that way.

john wallace,

ima back track&go to you.

i had a crush on you since 4th grade in mscole class.

all the way to middle school.

even during my boyfriendship with robert wade.

you have the prettiest smile&eyes. that made me melt. teehee.

i almost cried when you got married to another girl under the jungle gym.

that's prolly why i pushed her off the swing.

okay, back to high school&

daniel james garrett,

boy i have liked you for too long.

make myself tired thinking of it.

you like white chicks.

we all have figured this out.

but why do you have to be sooo cute? &dress so well?

so many times i gave up, and decided to juhst be okay with being friends

but you would do something to confuse me.

guess it was juhst plain flirting without any intent;

i remember in mshandy's creative writing class

 we always sat together in class&in the computer lab

mshandy even askd if we had something, but outside i said NO. inside saying I WISH!

lol. looking back, man i wanted you bad.

hhaha. goodtimes.

sarah w. would always joke to me, about "yo man" haha

man..daniel james garrett. i could go on and on. revealing the inner secrets of

my heart, but my hands cannot even type it all. followers cannot even read it all.

my heart cannot even pour it all.

to end it all. i have decided that being your friend that you can come to

is better than not having you in my life at all. so glad i met you.

ilyboy. :)

justin claybrooks,
yeah. you boy.
i had a crush on your swag&personality.
but your such a womanizer. i need it would be nothing but a crush.
&the fact. you cant stand me.
but still had a crush on your pretty eyes. &how you could make a laugh
all the time from the crazy things you did.
i am really gonna miss sitting by you in the cafeteria in the morning
laughing with everyone from how crazy you are.
you cute.. all that. haha.
yuur head finna get so big.
but you need learn how to treat a lady.

side note: problem with cute boys they think they dnt have to be as
polite as ugly ones to get chicks.
they really dont but still try to be.

okay back to you. love you boy.

ATTN ALL OTHER BOYS:

if you name was not listed about i really did not like you that much. juhst thought you were cute.

or you had someother problem. or on a better note.

something actually hppnd between us. :)

thats not bad though. haha. try harder.

c o l l e g e.

my friend, Amanda, juhst graduated from Clark Atlanta University&&her new love Vernon we talking to me the other night about college do's and dont's

i am excited about college and also have tons of questions.
A&V were warning me about

APPEARANCES;
whenever in public you most always look your best. now sometimes i have my off days I rele dnt want to really worry about myself and feel selfconscience whenever going to class. Im definately not the chick thats gonna wear heels to class erday. lol

RELATIONSHIPS;
i dnt have a bfriend right now&thats how i wanted it to be since im going to a school more than 400 miles away..but im gonna be in NOLA [new orleans, LA] where the hottest, finest,&sexiest boys reside. now my friends [Amanda&love] told me that they have AIDS. well lots of them. they said ALL but thats got to be a hyperbole. ..

PARTIES;
Amanda said as a CAU student they were always classy and even constrainted themselves when partying. now she gets wasted! but said they did that together as a fam on campus but in public never lookd bad. now Vernon goes to TSU [ten] &we knw how they do. some of my friends party with em. lol . i like to drink, but might not for the first parties maybe. cause 1.i dnt knw anyone like that [yet] ya knw i might end up on youtube [again, teehee] 2.i dnt want that reputation of the wasted guuhh.
ohh yeah;; &&i mean its neworleans ...who aint gone act a fool. sober? hmmm.

PLEDGING;
Amanda ddnt pledge but her sis is a DELTA &is thinking of pledging in grad school .she said at CAU the soro/frat life was so live that everyone was part. i love alpha [pretty boys/often calld gay] Vernon hated them haha. truth: he tried to be on the line and got dropped. but Oprah was droppd from delta and a lot of them made it their second try. so i duno whats up with him. ...but do am i go enough? am i a delta? what are they gonna have me do? haze!! i aint walking butttnaken on some glass. lmao.

I have so many questions about college. help me. lol i cant wait to learn. ohh yeahh&triva
are there pornstars and videovixons at TSU? ....yes!

if i were a b o y.

my dating psycology is starting to e v o l v e.
i have decided that for now; ima try to think like a boy when it comes to dating&love.
ima talk to a variety of different types of dudes. &this might help me refine my taste. :)
currently i talk to like 4 or 5 boys.
i am not a permiscuous [spelld wrong] girl
but boys like the chase and dont deserve to be chased. i have figured out.

one boy "cuteface"; met at LAX
is cute&this has brainwashd him to thinkng all girls will approach and chase him
wrong!
he has came after me more and harder knowing that i do not seem interestedd
might juhst want sex

two boy "oldhead"; met at kenyas&on fbook kinda
he is experienced and I rele dnt understand y he is even interested
but ima jusht go with the flow...came to see me at work today too. [no boy has done that]

three boy "flipflirt"; we have talkd before
i been attracted to him
he's soo cute. juhst came to see me today. :)

four boy "stephon"
loved me
hated me
loved me
wants physical

five boy "younger"
ummmm
thats all. he's younger.  stupider. slower. confuser.

ohh yea&&tony kinda in the picture in the corner. lol

boys. boys. boys.
im not a [p l a y e r] i jusht [c r u s h] alot

:) <333333

l o v e [question#1]

lately i have been thinking a lot about love, because i rele have not figured it out yet. this question really has parts but centered around true love. :)
okay..

do you believe in true love; that everyone has another person already set&&destined to fall in love with? 

&&if that is ture.

what if while you are dating someone hoping they were the one; they were really the true love of someone else [like your bestfriend]

would you?

(a)i dont believe in true love

(b)forget about you being with the guy to hook them up

(c)cry like a bby [but dont let him see you]

(d)fight that chick

(e)try to make him love you [even if your not the one meant for him

(f)c-e :)

&&if true love is true

can it be used as the justification of cheating

could a girl or a boy that cheated on you possibly have found the person of their dreams by accident.

so many questions. help me out.

if i were a boy!

in my 17 years of living i have learned the many differences in boys&&chicks, but i think since we have to share this earth forever we should learn the way each other thinks and the effects we have on each other to make this life happier. :)
boys do not seem to understand the effect of the things they do have on us girls.
uggh ..my friend is having some relationship problemas of her own &&it seems like her ex.bf or whatever is doing all the wrong things.

• boys dont tell your friends or other ppl that you have broken up. this tells the chick that you dnt even wana see if yall can make it work.
• boys dont juhst basically cutt a girl off and not talk to her for days or weeks. &&then out of the blew txt "hey boo" "ily".. anything of that nature. this is some [beep] i rele hate its as if boys think you have to stay and wait for them to get their act together or be done with what they doing with they "lil freak"
• its time for boys to learn. the boundaries. aint no one saying you cant have girls as friends but you know the ways things can seem &&you need to set boundaries for you and that chick... for respect. i find that really disrespectful for my bf to be hanging out with a girl solo dolo. wth. ...no! lol.

boys need to actually listen to what chicks say. we dnt talk juhst for you to see our lips move. &&they also need to think about how their actions or what they say to others and how it can off.

okayyy. got that off my chest. boys juhst crazy. i know they mature like 2years later but dangg. :)

where have i been?

it feels like i havent blogg in so long; well it has been 20 days almost; crazy

i knew that may would be a busy month for me and my family but never would i have imagined this..

everyday we are a my brother's track meet or my youngest brother's school event or wedding or graduation stuffs. mann this has really been a trial to see how much we are capable of doing. my mother is really stressed lately "bridezilla" :) &&really not fun to be around sometimes. my only goal was to really finish these examm &&get out of HfA haha. graduation uhhh. bittersweet. im happy to have accomplished 13 years of metro schools and to go to college but i am so sad to live my friends that I really juhst got close to this school year. i know i will cry at graduation. netta told me she will too. :( i hope we do lots of things together over the summer. im having boy trouble too. tony is out! he said he heard stuff about me &&i dont have time to make him believe me when i say who i really am. that's crazy. also trouble at home with the many things to do my mother seems to take everything out on me. &&friend trouble i guess. i never had a best friend before. or someone to really talk to about my life and everything; sometimes it really hard for me to know that. &&another crazy thing

as much as i hate CEC it has been a place i can forget about everything outside of work.

well that was juhstt a what's on your mind... burgg. facebook wouldnt have understood. lol. :)

you're like the best part of my daily routine pt.2

he txtd meh backkk.
said he ddnt knw if he wanted to be with.
"i like you but idk"
what does that mean!
geez. boys.